Ye Dooriyaan...!!!
I write this while watching my husband sleeping. On a video call.. From past one hour...
We have been married for four years and eight months today and like literally, every day, I talked about some day when we would be physically apart. We always tried doing stuffs on our own saying who would do it when we weren't around. Both of us had known all this time that someday, I would be away on some foreign deputation or higher studies, or may be some unforeseen situation might arise which would cause us living separate for a certain period of time.Never even once, did we think, it would be so difficult,living away from each other because we had not prepared ourselves emotionally for a physical separation.. We don't look forward to go home now, for there would be no one around. We don't look forward to a weekend, for we'll have to spend it without each other. We don't look forward to a day to end because time flies during the day while we are at work, but evenings suck and nights are not to be talked about.
While we were together, we never did anything constructive or memorable.. We never did anything together. We were just around each other. We would be busy with our own stuffs, but together. We spent most of our time sleeping, but together. Never can I remember a day when either of us was awake, alone.. If we were to leave the bed, we would do it together. If one was feeling sleepy, it was a mandate for the other one to leave all the stuffs and come to bed. We miss that today. Vinod's day starts alone. He never calls me up because that's my sleeping time. I go to the cold bed alone, every night because he's already fast asleep. His evenings are my crucial time at work. My lunch hour is his busy time in the college. We hardly are together with each other now.
We had developed a feeling that our life had become stagnant and that a big change was badly required. Not that we were fed up or frustrated with each other's company. We just wanted to break the monotony and it actually broke two months back. Life has taken a different turn and we miss that monotony. We have so many things to do that we end up doing nothing, every day. It seems, there was a motion in the monotony. Life seems empty now. I don't find a reason to do anything. I don't enjoy any new place that I visit or any new experience that I have because that moment does not contain Vinod. Vinod, on the other hand, dreads coming back home because he doesn't find me there. We are virtually together as much as possible,thanks to the technology. But the physical absence is felt in each and every moment.
Both of us feel, this physical separation was very much needed for us because we had become emotionally overdependent on each other. we had stopped looking after ourselves because we always found one standing for the other whenever required. This space will surely make us strong and we will realise each other's worth which in turn will help us strengthen our bond. But despite knowing and understanding everything, there is a moment every few days when either of us has to feel low and the other one would try cheering up and ultimately fall in the trap himself. We try keeping ourselves busy. We try thinking good and positive. We try every way to lift ourselves up but miserably fail to do so because it never was our job right ?
We have been married for four years and eight months today and like literally, every day, I talked about some day when we would be physically apart. We always tried doing stuffs on our own saying who would do it when we weren't around. Both of us had known all this time that someday, I would be away on some foreign deputation or higher studies, or may be some unforeseen situation might arise which would cause us living separate for a certain period of time.Never even once, did we think, it would be so difficult,living away from each other because we had not prepared ourselves emotionally for a physical separation.. We don't look forward to go home now, for there would be no one around. We don't look forward to a weekend, for we'll have to spend it without each other. We don't look forward to a day to end because time flies during the day while we are at work, but evenings suck and nights are not to be talked about.
While we were together, we never did anything constructive or memorable.. We never did anything together. We were just around each other. We would be busy with our own stuffs, but together. We spent most of our time sleeping, but together. Never can I remember a day when either of us was awake, alone.. If we were to leave the bed, we would do it together. If one was feeling sleepy, it was a mandate for the other one to leave all the stuffs and come to bed. We miss that today. Vinod's day starts alone. He never calls me up because that's my sleeping time. I go to the cold bed alone, every night because he's already fast asleep. His evenings are my crucial time at work. My lunch hour is his busy time in the college. We hardly are together with each other now.
We had developed a feeling that our life had become stagnant and that a big change was badly required. Not that we were fed up or frustrated with each other's company. We just wanted to break the monotony and it actually broke two months back. Life has taken a different turn and we miss that monotony. We have so many things to do that we end up doing nothing, every day. It seems, there was a motion in the monotony. Life seems empty now. I don't find a reason to do anything. I don't enjoy any new place that I visit or any new experience that I have because that moment does not contain Vinod. Vinod, on the other hand, dreads coming back home because he doesn't find me there. We are virtually together as much as possible,thanks to the technology. But the physical absence is felt in each and every moment.
Both of us feel, this physical separation was very much needed for us because we had become emotionally overdependent on each other. we had stopped looking after ourselves because we always found one standing for the other whenever required. This space will surely make us strong and we will realise each other's worth which in turn will help us strengthen our bond. But despite knowing and understanding everything, there is a moment every few days when either of us has to feel low and the other one would try cheering up and ultimately fall in the trap himself. We try keeping ourselves busy. We try thinking good and positive. We try every way to lift ourselves up but miserably fail to do so because it never was our job right ?
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